Soulful Self-Care Conversations

Empowerment and Self-Care: Essential Practices for Every Woman

• Pearl Chiarenza • Episode 2

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In this episode of "Soulful Self-Care Conversations" host Pearl Chiarenza welcomes Michelle Weihman, an empowerment coach and award-winning nurse. Michelle shares her inspiring journey from childhood dreams of nursing to becoming an empowerment coach. She discusses her passion for helping women embrace their inner strength and achieve their aspirations. Pearl and Michelle emphasize the importance of self-care, setting boundaries, and mindfulness. Together, they provide valuable insights on empowerment, self-discovery, and the transformative power of storytelling.

Key Topics Covered:

  • Empowerment and self-discovery
  • Personal journeys and childhood aspirations
  • Transition from nursing to empowerment coaching
  • The critical role of nurses in healthcare
  • Importance of self-care and prioritizing personal needs
  • Setting boundaries to protect mental well-being
  • Embracing imperfections and personal growth
  • The impact of storytelling on empowerment
  • Mindfulness and the choice of thoughts
  • Encouragement for women to support one another in their journeys

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social media TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook: @Pearlchiarenza

Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.wsliving.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Remember to embrace your inner pearl, nourish yourself, and find balance in life. Stay
true to your authentic self and continue working on your personal growth.

Hi, my name is Michelle and I am an empowerment Coach. I am so excited to share with Pearle today. Hello sunshine. Good to see you again. Had to walk out to let you back in. Stuck in a storm of a relationship. Lost my fire. Oh, and I forgot about me for way too long. But it's rolled on now. There ain't no shame. Hey everybody, it's Teresa. And welcome to another episode of Soulful Conversations with Pearl today. And so have you're listening to this show. You're actually going to start hearing a new title to our show. We are in the process of changing our title of our show to Soulful Shiro Conversations, and so I'm excited to introduce a Shiro that's joining us today. And for those that are just joining or going, what does Shiro mean? That means you are stronger, you are happier, you are empowered, you are radiant, and you are that original self that you were brought into this world to be. And my guest today is no different than you are in being as sure of herself. And my dear friend is joining us today. Her name is Michelle Wyman. She is an award winning nurse with 30 years of experience. She's an empowerment coach, bestselling author, which we are in books together, and host of Dare to Care with Michelle. She helps women embraced her inner strength, achieve their dreams and celebrate personal victories, guiding them towards self-discovery and meaningful growth. And Michelle, we've been trying for a long time for us to be on each other's show. And I know I beat you to my show, and now you're finally on, and you're actually coming on in the middle of us doing this whole new launch of changing our name to our show to call, you know, soulful self-care shows. And so I'm excited to have you as one of our first to help us kick off. And we're going to be doing some fun things, kicking us off. But so excited to have you here. And so I always like to start off the show with kind of going back in time. Going back in time to that little girl who, you know, we have this dream of. What do I want to be when I grow up? Whether it's, you know, you're a nurse, you you became a nurse, whether it was you were wanted to be a nurse. When you're younger, maybe you just want to. I've had some people on the show go. I just wanted to be a housewife. Or you want to be the president of the United States, whatever that is. I always like to ask, what was that for you when you're that little girl and how does it correlate to what you're doing today? So would you share that with our audience 100%? Pearl, thank you so much for having me, and I'm so glad that we did finally get it together and get our time together. And it just things always happen at the right time. And I was supposed to wait until you were rebranding. I love it, I am so excited about that. Uh, so what was it that I wanted to be? And I, I always joke about my, uh, my career path. And that's because when my mom was pregnant with me, she was in high school, and she was in the in the Future Nurses of America club. She did not become a nurse. So I did. I, I have always, always been a nurse. I. I was, uh, the little girl who took the other kids to the nurse's office if somebody scraped their knees. I, I actually have a doll that I keep. Is this on film or is it going to be on only audio? No. Show us the doll. I keep next to me just for this reason. This is my tender love doll. Uh, yes. She is 50 years old. She's very. Sweet. If you can look at. If you could see in her little leg, you could see all the shots that I've given her. As I was growing up, I was always a nurse, I, I. That's what I've always wanted to do. That's what I when I've always been and what I've always am doing. So that little girl inside me, that's. That's where she was. She wanted to take care of people. She wanted to help people. And after I, I, I got also I followed my mom's example. I got pregnant in high school and I had to go back to school. I had to get a GED. And when I took my GED, I got a high enough score that I got a nursing scholarship for a local community college, which was enough to get me through nursing school. And that's kind of where we're at now. Been a nurse now for, like you said, 30 years, 30 years. Wow. Like that. So that that that doll is so sweet, like me and all the little shop pricks and stuff like that. How cool is that? That is so, so, so cool. I, you know, it's interesting to like when I asked this question how it and if the listeners are listening, how if you go back and listen to previous episodes, you'll see how it correlates so much to what we do today. You know, I want to be a teacher. Growing up, I thought I was going to be an elementary school teacher, but I didn't have the guidance in high school. You know about this is how you can go get, you know. Luckily, maybe hindsight's 2020. I don't have student loans, but, you know, I didn't have that guy. So you can get a student loan to go to school, and, you know, all this stuff. But, you know, it's interesting that here I am today, you know, coaching women and teaching women about putting self first, about taking care of our self care, about how Noah's as happy statement as yes is to, you know, in our life. And so I know that, you know, it's it's interesting how it always correlates. There's very few that I've had on as guests that it doesn't correlate to what they want when they're little. But oftentimes that's because they had a tragic shift in their life that was like, I grew up this way and I never wanted to be that way. So I'm so glad you share that story and share that sweet little baby doll. I it actually brought back, you know, a little, um, a little thought in my head. My mom has had this doll since she was a little girl. My mom's going to be 80 in a couple of days, and she had this doll. And it was actually the doll. Do you remember the dolls? Your mom might have had one where they were actually hung. The legs were by wires. They dangled by wires. They went the plastic. Right. And she's like. And. And this doll is scary as heck looking. Now, if you were to see your now, like, like it didn't have hair, it had like the fake cement, fake, you know, hair and everything. And so she's like, I must be buried with this doll. I'm like, oh my God. Yeah. Tender love. That's you know, her hair is rough and this is where a dog ate her finger. I tried to I tried to sew it back on. But oh my God, it's. So I guess my, my, my skills weren't up to up to par yet, but yeah, she's just she has been part of our, of my life since I was a little girl. And oh my gosh, uh, she went through my parents divorce with me. Um, you know, she went through all these things with me, and that's what I've held on to. Yeah. That's so, so amazing. So. So you been a nurse for 30 years. Let's talk about that. That's like, you know, that's a lifetime. I was just, you know, I just turned 60. And the other day, Chuck and I were having this conversation. I was like going we were talking about a situation with a family member. I'm like, I don't have time for the BBS anymore. I'm 60 years old. I probably have 20 years left. I go, so that's like high school. I have high school left in my life. So he's like, he looks at me. He goes, you're correlating what you have left in your life as a number of years in high school. I go, yeah, well, think about it. I got four years of high school. I go, I go, let's just say it's elementary to high school. Let's just start. There I go. So you know what? I'm going to live it like I'm this little kid that's in elementary school that's learning all these new things and being open to all this stuff that's happening in my second act of life, you know, and then and then as I get to the last four years of my life, I've lived a really good, you know, first, you know, 8 or 9 years, you know, and so he just he just laughed at me, goes, I can't believe how you're correlating this, but okay. You know, but I mean, 30 years is a long time. And, you know, you've, you've been through, you know, just as recently as Covid to all these other things over your lifetime in your nursing of the challenges, health challenges you've seen in going around in this world. And so tell us a, um, a funny story about nursing. Let's talk about a funny story or funny. If you look back over your 30 years, what's one of your top two funny stories about in nursing career? Um, well, one of them was that I actually was. I grew up in Saint Louis. I'm in Las Vegas now, but I grew up in Saint Louis, and I was a nurse in Saint Louis and in Saint Louis. I worked at one of the big hospitals. I worked at Barnes Hospital. And so when the pope was coming to town to Saint Louis, everything was shut down, you know, and there was no elective surgery. So the hospital was really empty. But we all were fully staffed. There was everybody was there. And I you know, for some reason, I decided I wanted to look up the Missouri Nurses Association that day. I mean, I guess we were just sitting around doing nothing. I don't even know if we had internet in our house at that point, because, I mean, you know, that was 20, 25 years ago. And so I wanted to look up the Missouri Nurses Association, which is Mona. Mona and I put in Mona, and the hospital did not have blocks on their computers yet. And so mona.com came up and it was not Missouri Nurses Association. I was like, okay, get up, get up. I'm gonna get in trouble right now. It was just it was just one of those things. But, I mean, that's just all me. There's so many stories and, uh, you know, with nursing. It's it's one of those things where, like, I'll walk into a room and I'll. And a patient will say, what do you want? All grumpy? And I'll say, hi, I'm here to start your I.V.. You think you're going to start my IBS? Oh, no, no, no, no, I know I'm going to start your IB you know so it's things like that. And and we have to bring our own joy. Um because there is it does tend to be not as a happy place all the time, but I do I love what I do, um, you know, another another good one is, um, when I was doing home care and I walked into this little old lady's house and I said she was a little old lady with blue hair. Now that's common. But then it was that I walked into this little lady's house, and I'm just talking. Dot dot dot dot dot, like I do. And I'm telling you, hi, I'm Michelle, I'm going to be your nurse. And and we're going to do your, um, I'm going to, we're going to talk about your heart heart condition. And we're going to do your blood pressure. We're going to do this. We're going to do that. And I went to set my bag on her couch, and there was a snake on her couch. And I was like, wow, that's that's that's a snake. And she said, oh yeah, honey, that's my pet. I said, oh, well, yeah, he can't be out when I'm here. And she said, oh. He he has to run out of the house. He does whatever he wants. Oh my gosh. I'm like no. I so I had to call my manager. I'm like, I can't see her. Why she won't put her pets away. And and that's, you know, technically like get dogs and cats and I'm supposed to make them put them away, I never did. Right. I love animals, right? But I said she won't put her pets away. She said, what does she have? I said she's kind of snake. And she's like, okay, yeah, go ahead. And they canceled her because she wouldn't put it away. She she said and she said he was too big. You know, she, he just so she just gave him the run of the house. Oh, that is so funny talking about snakes. So the other day we were talking. I was talking with my girlfriend about snakes. I am petrified of snakes. I do not like snakes whatsoever. I, Chuck and I, we were living in Southern California. We were, um, getting a new place to to rent. We're going to look at maybe renting a house. And so we went up to this house and it was like dusk and, um, and we're waiting for the landlord to come. And the grass was really tall, and I'm like, oh my gosh, this grass is not this year. It's not kept up. And Austin and look at the front porch and there is a snake crawling up the front porch. I looked at my I said, no, you can tell the realtor we're not like it looks like. What do you mean? I'm like, I am not going in. He's like, just because I know he's going to be in the house somewhere, I'm always going to wonder where he's at, you know? So no. And then fast forward my our oldest son, Matt, when he was I think he was a senior in high school. I came home one day and he had this snake on the back patio with him, and I was like, get that thing, whose is it? It goes, it's mine. And I'm like, get that thing out of here. And I'm like, and he's like, why are you so afraid? I'm like, I don't care. I don't have to explain why I'm afraid of snakes. I want it gone. And it's like, I wonder if I don't get rid of my go, then you're going to leave with the snake, too. And he's like, look at me. I go, I'm not kidding. You. And my husband came home and goes, your mom's dead. Seriously? The snake goes, are you both go. Yeah. Yeah, that's that is the truth, bro. It's, uh, it's just too much. We were on vacation one time when my kids were young, and it was the same thing. Like we were going. Oh, um. We were out west because, again, we're from Saint Louis, so we were out west. Out this way. Right? Right. And we went to get out of the car and there was a sign that said, beware of rattlesnakes. My daughter said, nope. I would have been right with her. Nope. Just in the car. You guys. Go hike. I'm good. Let me know when you're done I love it. Oh my gosh. So, you know, thinking about your nursing career and thanks for sharing those stories. I mean, you know, I at nurses, I that was the one thing any of the times I've been in the hospital, I've been there supporting others. That was the one person that I always knew. That's your first contact. Like, that's the person, you know, take care of them. Be good to them. Because when you are, you know you're going to get the you know, you're going to be very watchful. You know, if you're leaving your family member at the hospital, you know that that the nurses are you know, I always I always make an effort to really get to know the nurses because they're your they're your frontline. You you're lucky to get the doctor at 6:00 in the morning to call you, you know, that's come just come in and see your loved one. And so I always, you know, always had a special place for nurses. And I watched, um, my, you know, my kids, their friends have been some of the girls have become nurses and, and some of the gentlemen. And so it's it's really I really recommend that, you know, that I think like patients because like you said, everybody's personalities different. Like you're not going to give me an IV today, you know, and, and things like that. And I remember, you know, being in a couple of times and like, I went to the hospital one time I had, uh, food poisoning. We were in Southern California. The Dodgers were I can't remember. It was my birthday. We'd gone out. I used to sell Tupperware, so we'd gone out. After my Tupperware meeting for lunch. The girls all took me out, and by the time I got home, I must have had food poisoning. My stomach was so sick. I was really sick to my stomach. But the Dodgers were in the World Series and you know, they were there about to win. You know, the last game they were going to win the series and I can't remember. Um, somebody hit a grand slam, and the whole time I was supposed to do a Tupperware party that night, and I had to cancel because I was so, so sick. And I kept going, I gotta take you to hospital. I'm like, no, no, no, no, we gotta watch the game after the game. But I got to the hospital. I was so sick that the nurse comes to me. She's like, and I. The one thing I have fear for is needles. She came to me. She's like, I gotta give you a shot in my belly button. That's how bad I had food poisoning. Oh, wow. And I started crying. And I'm telling her I'm so sorry for crying, you know? She's like. She's like, girl, I've had grown men in their 80s cry over these things. So I'm like. Okay. Okay. But I just remember I felt so bad for her, you know? But I, you know, it's to me what I think about nurses. That too. I think about compassion. You know, I think about such compassion and such caring and, you know, and loving and, you know, like, you go home, you know, some things you take home the good, the bad. You know that comes along with it. The patients that make it get to go home and the patients that don't, you know, and all all the family stuff that comes along with that. And so I wonder, you know, now, I know, you know, you and I have been in books together. You know, I've been I've spoken your your Christopher's had these great speaking events that I've been honored to speak on his stages with. And, and so I've watched you evolve. I remember when I first met him, you were kind of his helper. You know, you you're kind of behind the scenes. And now you're like, I'm going to be on the stage. Look out, you know? And so and you've been in the books and now you're on this journey of empowering women. Tell us, like, how did that evolve? I mean, I know 30 years is a long time, so I'm sure there's about to be a shift in that career situation. And, and. Yeah, you know, so tell us, like, what's led you to doing what you're doing today? Um, you know, when. Since I've been in nursing, I doctors have always been above the nurses, and I've never agreed with that. Just as you said, we're the front line. You know, if if I if a doctor would talk to me or my coworkers because I was always I always ended up being in leadership too. And so if the doctor talked poorly to me or my coworkers, I would just very kindly explain to them who they're talking to. You know, if if we don't make these calls, people die, you know? And so when I came to Las Vegas and I started working in the intensive care unit, and the nurse was to be sitting at the computer charting, and a doctor would stand behind them, not even say a word, and the nurse would get up out of her seat and say, oh, I'm sorry, doctor. This is 11 years ago. And I and I always said, if a nurse is afraid to sit in the chair when you know there's a computer right next to you, friend, you know, then, but he wants that computer, that chair. And the nurse is afraid to say no. Then how is she going to call him in the middle of the night and say, hey, doctor, I think you made a mistake on this order? Or hey, doctor, I think you forgot to order these labs. How is she going to do that if she's not empowered to sit in a freaking chair, you know? So that's kind of where I started. You know, that's where it started with me going. Wow, this has got to change. You know, people have to be able to stand up for themselves and for the humans that they're taking care of, because we're not taking care of patients. We are taking care of humans, human beings, family members, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, all, you know, children. And we have to be empowered to say, no, this is my spot. And as I as my friend Pearl says, no is a complete sentence. So I that's kind of where it started. And then, as you know, one of my friends at one point said, you know, you are the most empowered person I know. And I thought, well, I don't. I want everybody to feel like they have the power to control themselves, their bodies. And so that's kind of where that all got started. Um, as my career progressed and then, you know, like you said, going alongside Kristoff, I really wasn't much of a help or even I was just kind of the person who stood there and and waved and smiled and looked pretty. That was kind of my job at the beginning. And as, as its, as I have evolved and, uh, you know, getting up on stages and getting involved with Elite and Angela and Everyday Woman in the books that we've gotten involved in, it's just become more apparent that we need women like me and you that are out there saying, come on, you can do this. You know, don't be afraid to do this. And then that I was cruising along nicely, uh, preparing to, you know, saying for the last couple of years, I gotta retire. I'm, you know, I've done this long enough. I've been in the hospitals long enough. It's time for me to move to the next level. Next step? Uh, in April of this year, I, I, I tripped over one of my dogs, and I broke my foot, and I was off work for three months. And in that three months, I spent that time at my computer, building my Facebook group, building my email list, starting classes, create, you know, creating classes. I have one called Dare to Empower her. I have another one called Sage Coaching. So I started creating these classes, uh, creating, you know, journals and affirmation cards and just doing all this stuff that I love to do, stuff that I need and saying, okay, let's do this. Then when I went back to back to work full time and I was like, oh no, this is not gonna work. So I come back to working one day a week now, and I the rest of the time I am empowering women to find their their greatness, find the fullness that's in them. I love how that evolved. I loved how, you know, I want to go back to sitting in the chair like I could. I could just see that doctor, you know, sitting there and intimidating that nurse and like, I want that chair. But you're right. If we don't sit in our chair, we don't command our chair. Then we let other people command what happens in our lives. You know, it's it that people pleasing we don't we don't command. But I like also how you said. Then how is that nurse going to be confident enough to call that doctor in the middle of the night and, you know, talk to them about the patient that you know, something's wrong or something needs to be done for or whatever. And, you know, it's it's interesting, like how many times if you're as you're listening to us talk today, Michelle and I talk about how many times in your life are you letting somebody else tell you who? What chair you sit in? You know, you you are empowered. I mean, like I wrote down. We have the power to control self because we think we have. We don't have that power. And like you said, no, as a complete sentence, you can say it as happy as you say yes. And you can look at that doctor and say, you know what, I'm really busy doing these charts right now. There's a computer right here. So go ahead and grab a seat right there. Otherwise, you can wait till I'm done. Right? Like it's okay to have those conversations because oftentimes, whether it's at home or at the workplace, we get intimidated by people who have stronger personalities or people we feel like we don't have that voice for. And in like we said, if you don't step into your voice or I call it step into that shrill self, then you're always going to be held back. You're not going to be you're not going to become stronger in using your voice. You're not going to be be happier. You're not going to be empowered to do things like what you've done. Like say, you know what, I'm going to take these three months. It gave me a setback, but it's going to give me the bounce forward of what I want in my career and then to And also to have the power by doing the work. Be empowered to do the work that when you went back you're like, yeah, no. Not happening. One day a week is good. I'm going to go do what I'm loving to do. Yeah. Because then then what happens is you show up as like, we talk about that radiant self. That's what we talk about. That's what Shira is like, that radiant self. And truly you're walking in that original path of like empowering others, of showing to care for others and but also caring for self, you know and our need. I wrote down our needs equals others needs. You took your story like I did, and we took our need that we needed to pour into ourselves and take care of ourselves. And now we share that story forward. I talk about that often, you know, on the show here, when I coach, you know, especially I coach for a nonprofit, um, a group of women at a nonprofit, um, shelter. And I tell them all the time, when you leave the shelter, when you bounce forward to the next thing that's planted for you, write a letter to the lady that's going to put her head down on that pillow, because your needs that brought you here are her needs. That's bringing her here and let her know she's safe, you know, and and they're starting to get it. They're starting to understand about the whole letter. And we're actually going to do an exercise this week where they're actually going to write a letter to themselves as if they had just got there and to where they are today. You know, and I think it's so important, like sit in your chair, you have to sit in your chair, you have to command your chair if you want to have that your whole life, that you want to live and lead. And I think it's so awesome. I know you and I have been in a couple of books with Gilly and Angela, and I love the two of them. They are an amazing team, so shout out to them right now. I love two of them, but tell us like it. And being in the book, I know for like for me, um, it's a lot of it is because I want to continue to find another way to educate. I want to continue to get my voice out. I also say to my friend, when I'm no longer here and my my hopefully grandkids someday, but at least my son, you know, when they go back and read or somebody cleans out my house because they gotta pack my stuff, they can look at the book and go, oh, they can look at the story and go, oh, look what she did. Look what she's, you know, overcome and and stuff like that. What's some of the reasons why you it's important for you. Let's start with the book with Angela and the Everyday Women series we've been doing. And then I have another follow up question about what's what's important for you to do these type of adventures with them. Yeah. Um, and. Part of the reason it's so important is, you know, they call it Everyday Woman and it's, it's the everyday woman. I actually my first marriage was very abusive and I was physically, mentally and financially abused by him. And so when you, by me being willing to tell that story, I'm hoping that that book gets in one person's hand who says, I need to get out of here, you know, and that's that's the goal for me in writing and writing the chapters. Then it's it's a again, it's evolved, you know, because I can't write about that all the time because then it just stays on my mind all the time. right? So it has evolved into some self-care stuff and and to the things that we need to do to just to grow and to be able to grow into ourselves. I love being in their books. I think that Angela and Gilly are so special, and their goal in life is just to empower and and, you know, help us find our voice. And that's what they've done. I've done private coaching with them, and it's just finding my voice. It's amazing. Yeah. That's another that's another reason why I like doing it too, is like truly finding your voice and sharing it. And like, like you said, it's the everyday women. Like we everyday women, whether you are in a high level position or you're just an amazing CEO mom, because I don't like the word working mom, the stay at home mom. But whatever level you are in your life as a woman, you know we have to understand we're not alone. Like you said, somebody could be listening to us right now. That's in a situation that you described. And we want we want you to know that Michelle and I are here for you. We want you to you to know that you're not alone, that reach out for help. Reach out to us through the podcast. Whatever way we can support, that's both of our goals. We want to empower women to know you have a voice, you matter, and you have to put yourself first. Because you know, as we both know, life's not promised. Tomorrow is not promised here. And you know somebody else is going to sit in your job seats. Somebody else is going to take care of your family. If you're not a spouse, they may or may not get married. Like life's going to go on, but what are you leaving behind is that legacy. And you know, so it's so important goes back to our need equals other needs. You know, how can you. Everybody has a story. So no matter where you're at in your journey right now, how can your story empower somebody else? I just I love that you we talked about that. So we talked about self-care. You kind of talk about how you and I both are really big about self-care. We we yes. We know how important it is. So you started this journey. So you took the three months you took this. I tripped over my dog experience. And, you know, you said, you know, most people say I trip over my dog to get out of doing stuff. You took it and you said, okay, I'm not going to sit around and eat bonbons all day. Let's do something with this, by golly. So tell. Like, tell us what? Like how did that come about? I know, like you said, you you know, I did a little coaching too with Andrew and the lead as well. They're amazing, amazing ladies. But tell us a little bit about how did that evolve and thinking about where you start, because I've watched you grow. It's really amazing. And think about where you are, where you started and where you are today. Tell us a little bit about that. And then I have some follow up questions. Yeah. And like going from where I started, you know, being a 16 year old girl who's pregnant and dropping out of high school to, to somebody who runs a hospital on the shifts that she works, that's so much fun. But in my group, I started off my group in April with 800 members. I'm up around 3100 now, and it's just somehow and I don't know how and I don't know why. And I tried to figure out the secret sauce, but somehow I was attracting these numbers of Numbers of women who were just joining the group, and it was crazy. Uh, Pearl, it was it it. A lot of them are nurses. Probably 45% of them are nurses, which I think is amazing, and I have no idea what I did, but it's been just the evolution of this group going, you know, where we do journaling challenges and we do self-care challenge, where I give them a different self-care item every day for a month, and one day it might be reading a book and another day it might be sitting outside. It's all stuff that's inexpensive or free, but able to do it just because people need to understand how important. Just taking five minutes and a lot of women will say that they don't have time for self-care. And I'm like, no, no, no. You watch TV, you scroll on your phone, you have time to meditate. You have time to stop and take a deep breath. You do, and it's not easy, you know. I'm not acting like it's easy. I was a mother of three, three kids, you know, boom, boom, boom. And, you know, here, here. It's not easy, but it's so necessary. It's so true. Because, you know, I remember when I first started this journey of, you know, I was such a people pleaser. I was like, I got to show up for everybody and anything. I got to wear all the titles and everything. When I finally started on this journey of being like, I need to put me first. I remember like thinking, oh, but my family's going to start thinking, I don't love them. All those thoughts, you know, people are going to think I'm selfish, you know? And and when I started really understanding that, I wasn't always showing up the way I wanted to with them, it's like, okay, I need to do something for me. So I'm present when I am there. I remember. I did exactly. I did mortgages in Virginia, and I was one of the top five in the company, the top female in the company. And I remember when I look back, I worked so many hours like we tried so long to have kids and then when our kids came along, I was doing really great, my career. And so it was like I was just go, go, go. And I was like, looking back, going, man, you know, if you're listening to us, you have little ones at home. And that sounds like you right now. Stop because you cannot rewind the clock. You cannot get those hours back, you know, and and there's often times I'm like, man, I wish I wouldn't have done that, you know? But you know, you can't change it. You know you can't rewind life. But what? Once I started realizing I've got to put self first, I started like I actually came home and told my family one day I'm like, okay, I gotta do something for me. You know, my kids were teenagers. And I said, So I'm going to go in the room and I may or may not take a bath. I may or may not take a nap. Who knows what I'm going to do, but you're not going to see me for at least 30 minutes to an hour. So unless the house is burning down, your dad can take you to the doctors. I don't need to be bothered. Right? And they all kind of looked at me like I had three eyes or something. And then as I started doing the routine, they started seeing. Okay. And then I was like, okay, how can I show up for my boys and my husband? So my oldest, Matt, he was a football player. So he had terrible football feet. He had horrible feet. So we would go and do mani pedis. And I would tell people like, I, I that's self-care. You could do self-care with those you love, right? And so we would sit down together and our nail stylist who would just crack up because we would talk about sex, we would talk about girls, we would talk about school, we talk about anything and everything. And, I mean, I remember one time I was talking about safe sex, and she's like, you're telling him about wearing it because I called it wear a coat. Right. You need to put a. Coat. On. And she's like, you're talking about him having sex. I go, well, jeez, what am I gonna do, not talk about having sex? Because we've got to have the conversation. You know, I'd rather not have a little bambino around. And, you know. And so she would just laugh at me. And then my my younger son, he was really in the movies and, you know, and building computers. So I started doing things like movies and stuff with them. So are we watch a movie at home like Chuck and I, we'll watch movies at home. So there's ways to do self-care. If you have little ones at home, sit down and watch. I don't know what they call it now, but I used to watch Barney. My kids like. Barney. Whatever that is for them. Sit down with them. That's self-care. You know, you can do. Those. Things with them. And so when you're sitting with them, put your phone away. Yes, 100%. Yeah. You know, it's so much because it's it's it's so important that kids say, realize I am the most important person in mom's life, right? For these 30 minutes while the show is on. 100%. Yeah. And then one of the things, too, is, as I, um, as I was going on, I remembered looking back when I lived in Virginia, I had a friend that he would have, like, I would see him at least twice a week. I think he had 2 or 3 kids, but on average see him with one of his kids having, you know, breakfast or something with them. And I was like, what is that about? He's like, well, I take them since they were babies. And I would my wife could stay at home and I take one of them out each week. And as we got two, I think he had three. So three days a week he was out eating something, whether it's breakfast, lunch or dinner with one of his kids. Not all of him at one time. Yeah. And he's like, it's it's an opportunity for us to talk. It's I tell them that them the table is a safe space to say, tell me whatever you need to tell me, and we'll work through it. You know, there's no punishment either. So I started doing that. So when Matt would say, hey, mom, you want to go have sushi? I knew that was. Yeah, we both like sushi, but I want to talk, you know? And Nate was like, you want to go to the movies or grab a sub? That's how I knew that for him. And so, you know, you got to find that love language for those that you love, that you know, that you can pour into, but also you can do self-care around that, like you said, to put your phones away, turn the TV off. You're not watching TV. Like really, truly be present. Because like you said, they're going to know. They're truly going to know. So I have a I have a question I'm going to ask you while we're talking about this. We talk about legacy. You know, what we're going to leave behind with our with our family. We talk about the books and things like that. So one of the things that I always like to ask my question to my clients, when I coach them, I talk about like living this real life. Right? And one of the parts about living a sure life is, how are you showing up for yourself, as we're talking about here today? So one of the things I like to ask my clients is like, okay, let's say that unfortunately, Michelle, I don't get the pleasure of having you on this earth with us any longer. And tomorrow I have to show up at your your memorial and talk about your legacy. But all I can talk about is what I saw Michelle do for self and and that your, your top ten closest people have to be able to say something different because you're going to have you're so amazing. You're going to have over 200 people to not all 200 people are going to talk at your eulogy, but your ten, your closest 5 to 10 people may get up and share some stories about you, but all they're allowed to say is what they saw you do for yourself, not the titles you wore, not the job you did. But what did Michelle do for yourself? What are top? What are some of the three things that your friends would say they saw you do for you? Oh I gotcha wow, what a fun question. Um, you know it. So Christophe sees me come into my office to. I get up early every day before he does. And before the other dog. Before the dogs do, I come in here and I meditate. I do my whole morning routine, I meditate, I do my affirmations, I do my journaling. I do all of that first thing in the morning. So that's one of the most important things to me, is that I allow myself that time. And so if I make a decision to stay up too late, then I still am making the choice to get up early and do my morning routine that I that I prefer. So that would be Krista. Um, the people at work, they know that I will take a time out, and I put myself in my office in a timeout. Uh, if I start getting too frazzled, if there's too much going on at one time or whatever, and I'll tell them, kind of like you do with your kids. Unless the hospital is burning down, please don't call me because I need five minutes to breathe. And that's literally what I tell them. I need five minutes to breathe and I go into my office. I shut the door and they all have my personal cell phone, so the work phone is ringing. I ignore it for five minutes and I do some breathwork exercises and they all know that. And then, uh, so that would be the people at work and my kids and, um, the grandkids would probably say something about the dogs, about the adopting dogs, because that is something that, you know, working with rescues and working with dogs is something that brings me so much joy that that would probably be what they would say. And I love that you create that morning routine like that's. So, you know, those are the listening. Morning routines are so, so important. I have a friend, Julie. She talks about creating tiny habits like creating a habit around your routine. Like for me, it's like I get up in the morning, you know, I'm the first one up to get up in the morning. I take the dog out and then I come back in and I do something around, you know, whether it's journaling, meditating, like what you're talking about. You know, that's my that morning routine. And, um. And I love that you talk about the the time out at work. Like, I remember, like, I it's funny how I do what I do today, and it's all been since we moved to Florida. Because in Virginia, when I left the mortgage world for a little bit, I went to go work for a telecom company. And we this is I'm going to really age myself for those that are listening. We didn't have the computers. We could just process. And you go online and you make your payment. We literally got the good old check in the hand, and we had to input the check and everything and process the whole check by hand. So we were doing a lot of data entry, and so everything had to be done by the end of the month because your state was coming out in the first of the month. So we had to have every payment process that came in. And so that like the last eight days of the month, workdays were always so busy and we had to be in these three piece suits because you're, you know, you're in a business. So now you got to dress the part. And I would have my staff, we would, you know, and we were salaried. So we were staying after hours, not getting extra pay, sometimes

till midnight, 1:

00 in the morning trying to process these payments. And so at one point I was like, when I took over for the department, I was like, I got to do something for my staff because I know I get tired, you know, late at night. So I started breaking them up in shifts, like at the after we've had a lunch break or morning break or whatever. I'd be like, okay, you two go for a walk. If it if it was cold outside, then they walk in the building. If it was warm outside, I tell them to get outside, but I actually would have managers come over and go. My staff is getting really fresh. Don't understand why your staff is getting extra breaks and I would go, well, do they want to stay till midnight with me tonight? I give them an extra break and they just look at me, you know? But even back then I was recognizing how important self-care was. And, you know, and to do that at your job like to be that example, especially as, you know, some of the leadership, because a lot of times our leaders don't remember that, just like our kids watch us. Your staff is watching you, you know. Exactly. And and my staff know like I've had nurses bring other nurses into my office and say and sit and say, um, okay, so I'm going to leave you here with Michelle, and, uh, I'll watch your patients so that you can sit with Michelle. And so we would do some breathing exercises and stuff like that just to help them calm down and feel better. You know, everyone performs better when they take the time to do these things. And one of the things that, uh, Kathy Heller is one of the mentors that I listened to, she says, just like you choose your clothes every day, you can choose your your thoughts. You can choose your your attitude, your mood. And that how important that is to be able to choose that. You know, today I'm going to feel like this, you know, and I know a lot of people who are like, you know, even my son, sometimes my son will drive door drives, DoorDash, and I'll call him and say, hey, how's it going today? Oh, it's going really good. I made this much money and I've had these many tips. And then another day I'll call and say, how's it going today? Oh yeah. And you hear it. And I'm like, oh my God, you know, please make it stop. But I told him, I said, you have to stop letting these people set your mood, because then you're going to continue to have these high days and low days. And there's I mean, high days are good, but those low days based on that make that go away. Yeah. I love that you said you're choosing your thoughts. It's just like choosing your clothes. It's it's so true. And you're right. Like when we let others control our thoughts, then, you know, that's that can be so detrimental to our, our life and our day and everything. You know, I actually did a post, um, I think it was yesterday before about, you know, it's like I did a post about helping people with an addiction, you know, like you want it so bad for them, but you can't make it how they have to make it happen for themselves. Right? But you have to set boundaries around that. So just like people, other people's thoughts, you have to set boundaries of what you're going to let come into your world. Because if you let the negative thoughts come in, you're going to then it's going to lead you to have a negative day. Right? And so that's that's one of the things I love to coach on. When I work with my clients, I talk about mindset and how we sabotage ourselves and judge ourselves with those thoughts. And so I'm like, I, I name my my saboteur. Her name is Betsy. And so Betsy shows up. I'm like, yeah, Betsy, you're not talking to me. And I haven't Betsy. She's amazing. I don't know why I call it Betsy, but. She's. My wife. But I literally will tell her, yep. You're not talking to me like that today, right? I'm like, we're not doing that. We're not doing that today. And it reminds me of I've. I've told the story here on the show before about like Meghan Trainor, when she had her first child, she was like, she didn't like how she looked. And her therapist like, I want you to stand in front of the mirror naked. How many women are really comfortable standing in front of a mirror, looking at themselves naked? They'll always find a flaw in themselves, right? And so. Yeah. So she was like, oh my God. So she was like, well, she didn't like the little role. And then she's like, oh, wait a minute, I have that role because I because I have a, you know, I have a I have my child, you know, and it was so powerful for me that I remember when my son passed, um, when Matt passed a couple of years ago, I remember looking in the mirror one day and I was like, where's that wrinkle come from? It's like, like I have these little wrinkles in the corner of my eyes. And I was like, oh, I went back to make. And I'm like, oh, those are the tears I shed for the loss of my son, right? So I embrace that, right? We have to embrace our imperfect imperfections to really embrace what our life is truly about. And I, I love that, you know, you set that tone for your clients. I want you to. I've been in the I've been in the groups before. When you challenge us to do things, you know, especially the different journal challenges and self-care challenges, they're always, always a lot of fun. So tell everybody before we start getting to the next part of the show, tell everybody how they can reach out to Michelle and what, what anything you have upcoming that they can get by into 100%. Thank you so much. Um, yeah. So I my my Facebook group is Michelle Renee. Uh, notes dare to care with Michelle. That's the whole. That's the Facebook group, which is the same as my podcast. And my book is, uh, that I have as dare to care. The exciting thing that we have coming up is dare to care. It's dare to care. Book two is coming out. It'll be out around sometime in December. And we're not we're not sure. We don't have the date down yet, but. And that's it's similar to the first book and that it's a collaboration book. But this time, instead of having all nurses and doctors, I opened it up to wellness professionals. So I have a functional medicine practitioner, I've got a hypnotherapist, I have a Reiki master, I've got people that are really into the health and wellness rather than just the just, uh, the medical side. And in the first year of the care book, Dare to Care was, um, it was kind of like the person was writing it for themselves. You know, here's my story. They were amazing stories. Love them. You know, here's here's the story of my friend who was from Afghanistan and and came over here to the United States and is now an air charge nurse. You know, so here's a story of a of a girl who was born with cerebral palsy. And then she made it into. Made it through her nursing school with her physical disabilities. And now as a bedside nurse, she works alongside all the others. And so those were really good stories. But these stories, this next book is focused more toward the reader. It's focused more toward, um, what you're going to get out of it. You know, like, uh, for example, one of the nurse practitioners is a pain. Uh, pain management nurse practitioner. But she does not use pharmaceuticals. So she is talking to us about some ways that we can alleviate pain by using, uh, not not using pharmaceuticals. It's just a different approach. That is such a cool idea to put together for your second part of the book series. Yeah. Like let the reader get some education out of it. And here's some stories about how that. Yeah, I just was talking to one of my clients slash friend. She's preparing. She has rheumatoid arthritis. And, um, Ann Marie is her name, and she's preparing her first event she's doing in February all around rheumatoid arthritis. She's bringing people together to educate that we can still live our life. You know, around when we change our mindset, we have the right doctors, we do the right exercises. We can still live life with these different challenges, even if it's an autoimmune disease. So I love that you're taking this next part. Me like, let's educate. Let's like let's share story. Let's share stories. But at the same time I think it's so, so awesome. All right. So we're down to a few minutes left. This is the series where I like to know what is your Sheroes story. So thinking about you know your stronger you become happier. You become empowered in that original self that you are doing because you're doing all the work, right? So you're that. You're that Schiro, you know. So tell us, like, what is your Shiro story? Like, where did did you find go? I finally got it. And now that. Because I realize I need to put myself first. Where did that show up for you? It's. It's been peeking its head out for a few years now. But truly, when I broke my foot, it was like, um. Suddenly I got thrown into the I'm happy I am. So I so love getting on the computer, getting on zoom calls, empowering people, putting out my podcast, all those things. I am so happy doing those things that why do I want to go back into the nursing world full time and I do. I love being a nurse, so don't you know, it's not that I want to leave nursing, but I don't want to go back and do that full time. I don't want to be under the corporate mandates of, you know, here's, here's here's what we're going to going to tell you, that we're the changes that we're going to make to the hospital, and you're going to sell it to the staff. I don't want to do that anymore. And so coming into my when I broke this foot and I was and I just found out how happy I could be just doing this and communicating with women and empowering women and helping. And I'm not empowering them. I'm helping them empower themselves, you know? And that's kind of where my hero story all came across was when my little blind dog, Lily, was walking and she stopped in front of me, and I broke my toe. And I that's so I mean, she's like my mom. She's like, why do you mean to do that, mama? But you're happy I did it for you. Now, mama, I could just see, you know? Yeah, but it's so funny. I'll tell you, I, I had I've worked for the same company for a long time, for 11 years. And I had all this. It's extended sick bank, LV and I have 14 weeks of it, because the only way you can use that is if you have surgery or if you have a baby? And so I had these 14 weeks of this LP saved up. And I kept telling my staff, well, don't worry, I'm not going to retire until I use that up because I'm not leaving that with the hospital. I'm not giving them my money. Right. So I broke my foot. I it took me. I went straight to an urgent care where they said it, but, um, then it took me two weeks to get into a podiatrist for them to look at it. When the emergency room did it, they said it wrong. And so he had to break my foot without medicine, by the way. And and then he I was off of I he told me, okay, you need to be off for another six weeks. So now at this point I've been off for eight weeks. And I said, okay, that's fine. I've got I've got time saved up, whatever. I went back after six weeks and he did an X-ray and he said, it's not healing. He's. So I'm going to need I'm going to need you to take another six weeks off. And I'm like, oh my God, are you kidding me? But I told the universe, I told God that I wanted to use those 14 weeks before I retired. I was off for exactly 14 weeks, and so that was for me to. Be said about manifestation. I started. That way. But there's a lot to be said about manifestation. But but I didn't have to have surgery and I didn't have to have a baby. All I did was broke my toe. By walking in front of that beautiful little dog. Oh my God. And then I had to write on that little those knee scooters. Everybody thinks those look so cool. They or not. Yeah, I agree with you. I've watched a lot of friends think it's the most uncomfortable thing to do. Yeah, yeah, it's a pain in the butt. She's like, I hate this thing. So. Much. So much. So as we're closing up here and that's a great story, you know, because you took something that could have been so overwhelming and you've done something with it. Like, you're, you know, you're really making some powerful moves with it. So, um, tell us what's. You know, we got a few minutes left here before I pull up my cards. Tell us, what's one of your favorite? So we know about your routine, but outside of your routine, you do in the morning. What's one of your favorite things to do for self-care? Oh, I love a bubble bath. Um, and I, I, I actually, uh, took a class one day on using flowers and your bubble bath. So I, I go and buy flowers, depending on what mood I'm in. And you just take the petals, and you, you do it with intention, and you put them in the in the bubble bath and then a candle, a glass of wine. And then I don't, you know, no TV, no reading. I just ease into it. That is so beautiful. I love that story. But flowers in a bubble bath. You have to send me information on that class. I need to check out that class. That's awesome. Yeah, for sure. But this has been so, so much fun. I just can't wait for me to connect with you and, you know, start doing some little. Whether it's bubble bath, some morning routines or find their own story without tripping over a dog, maybe. But, um, but really, at the end, it's like sit in their own chair. I'm really I'm I'm excited that you and I sat in our chairs to have this time together. Um, but before I let you go, everybody knows on our show we do our better questions, better life cards. So I'm going to shuffle them. You're going to stop. We're going to have you answer one of the cards. So here we go. Tell me when to stop. Oh, stop. All right. Your card says how do I want. Well, we did this one. How do I want to be remembered? Let's pick a different card. Tell me when to start again. We did that one. I ask you that question. Tell me when to stop. Uh, stop. All right, here we go. What if I were great? I think you already are great. But what if you were even greater? Um, I you know, one of the things that we like to do is we like to bring the greatness out in people. And I think if in order for me to feel great. It's also me bringing out the greatness in others. And so that would be my what if I were great would be bringing it out. And you're doing that. I'm watching you do it. And I'm so honored that you were on my show to share your story and your shero story and and be part of our soulful Shirah show. And I am excited to put you out to the world, to my sisters. And I'm so honored I've gotten to be on the show with you and your listeners, and I just wish you the best. And I cannot wait to see all the growth you're about to have. Thank you. To. So excited. Thank you so much, Pearl, I appreciate you. You're welcome. You're all clean. Why did it take so long to leave you in the rearview mirror? Now nobody gonna steal my sunshine. I'll turn my blue sky gray. All I know is at the end of the day. Once I was broke. When there ain't no shame.